Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You

“If you struggle with that screensaver type of anxiety that’s always on…this book will feel like coming up for air. Read it and get free.” —Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control

From psychotherapist and social media star Meg Josephson, a groundbreaking exploration of people-pleasing as an under-recognized but common trauma response, that also offers a compassionate and actionable path for healing.

Are you...

- Constantly worried about what people think of you, if they like you, if they’re mad at you?
- Anxious, a perfectionist, or an overachiever?
- Always overextending yourself (and then resentful)?
- Someone who avoids conflict at all costs?
- Fearful of getting into trouble or being seen as “bad”?
- Silencing your needs for the comfort and happiness of everyone else?
- Prone to overexplain or over apologize?
- Eternally obsessing over why someone texted with a period instead of an exclamation point?

It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving. Meg Josephson, MSW, will tell you how. In Are You Mad at Me?, Josephson explodes the idea that people-pleasing is a personality trait. Instead, she illuminates how it’s actually a common trauma response (also known as “fawning”): an instinct often learned in childhood to become more appealing to a perceived threat in order to feel safe. Yet many people are stuck in this way of being for their whole lives.

Meg weaves her own moving story, fascinating patient case studies, and thought-provoking exercises to show readers how to:

- Identify all the roles you might play—from peacekeeper to performer to caretaker to perfectionist to lone wolf to chameleon—that keep you far from yourself.
- Stop fearing your thoughts and emotions, even if they’re unpleasant.
- Rethink conflict and boundaries as an opening for deeper connection.
- Practice “leaning back” in relationships.